i’m so mortal

Tonight while I was out on a dessert run, I followed two teenagers skateboarding down a hill. They were both crouched down, going as fast as they could go, in the middle of the road. I was going about 55 km/h, and they had no trouble staying ahead of me. Neither of them were wearing any protection whatsoever.

I was busy thinking about how much I disapproved of what they were doing when I realized that’s the entry into adulthood…when you realize you are mortal.

are you on facebook?

I need the t-shirt. You know, the one that says “No, I’m one of the seven people in the world that are NOT on Facebook”. I’m anti-Facebook, and I cringe when I hear about it. And I say that without ever seeing it in action.

I can’t put my finger on why. It’s not a privacy thing. If I were worried about that, I wouldn’t blog and I’d censor some of what Greg posts on his blog. There’s the time issue — I have other things I’d rather be doing, but I can’t say that’s a good reason, because if I wanted to do it, I’d make the time.

Last night during my bout with insomnia I tried to figure out what it is about Facebook that bugs me. I wondered if it was the lack of actual voice or physical contact with people — but again, I blog. There’s no contact there. And I email friends when I could just as easily phone them. So it’s not that. I really can’t figure it out.

So how’s that for conviction? I hate the thing without every seeing it, and I can’t explain why.

taking the plunge

I find it a bit disconcerting that the bathroom at my workplace has a plunger in it. This is an office building with “official” bathrooms, not just a bathroom that was thrown together for a single office — you need a key to get in, they have multiple stalls, it’s all very institutional. It bothers me because bathrooms like that…well, they should just work. And in the event of a toilet emergency, do they really think I’m going to pick up the plunger and deal with the problem?

Not me. During my second week of work when the flush filled the toilet instead of emptied it, I hightailed it out of there as quick as I could. Went straight to our office admin and told her the toilet was overflowing. She called building maintenance. End of problem.

my circle of influence

I was going to post this as a comment to M’s post, but I decided it warranted an actual post on my site.

K was telling me about this Globe and Mail article on Friday, and ever since I’ve been struggling with how I feel about it. I read the first page and then didn’t read more because I am too cheap to pay $5.00 for something that I know will depress me. I did, however, read a few other Internet articles on Bisphenol-A (most of them very biased).

Anyway, I’ve decided I am getting sick of hearing how many terrible things I am doing for myself, the environment and for my son. So this afternoon I took stock on some things I’m doing right (in no particular order):
– We recycle everything we’re allowed to recycle.
– We wash in cold water, most of the time.
– We don’t use dryer sheets.
– We dry clothes on the line when the weather permits.
– We don’t flush the toilet all the time (as the saying goes on Hornby, if it’s yellow, be mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down).
– We wear sunscreen.
– We exercise, providing a healthy example for Elliot.
– We eat well, again providing a good example for Elliot.
– We carpool to work, most days.
– We compost.
– We have an earthquake kit.
– And most importantly from Elliot’s point of view, we love him to bits.

This is not to say that we can’t improve, because I know we can do a lot more. And this is not to say that I’m going to ignore the information on Bisphenol A, or the next thing that comes out. I just don’t want to drive myself crazy worrying about things that I can’t easily control.

Statistically speaking, every day that I get in the car with Elliot, I put him in danger. But if we didn’t get in that car, we’d be missing out on something. A walk in the park, a visit with a friend, a chance for him to learn something new.

I just want to keep some perspective.

downs and ups

After 35 plus years of living, it still surprises me how my outlook can change so dramatically in a short time.

Yesterday afternoon Greg, Elliot and I were all exhausted and at least two out of three of us were feeling crummy with the beginnings of a cold (we’re not sure about E). I think it was the first time all of us were that tired at the same time, and we all had to get through the evening together.

We made it, barely (in hindsight dinner plans should have been scrapped and replaced by takeout), and when I went to bed, feeling icky and exhausted, I wondered how I would get through the week if I was starting out this tired. I didn’t sleep very well, which didn’t help matters.

We dragged ourselves out of bed and to work, and thankfully it was a good morning for Elliot so there weren’t any struggles with eating, dressing or getting in the car seat.

I’m not quite sure what happened, but as the day progressed I realized I was feeling much better mentally, and when I got home I had lots of energy to play with E while Greg made dinner. And this despite the fact that physically I feel like my head is going to explode.

I think part of it is that my job is not very taxing from a physical point of view (compared to my jam-packed day yesterday with E), so some of my energy stores came back. And I had a very nice lunch with two friends, and that boosted my spirits as well.

So tonight I feel as if I will get through the week, no problem! Of course it could all turn again overnight…:)

nighttime fears

I’m afraid of the dark. Yup, 35 years old and afraid of the dark. More specifically, I’m afraid of how things look in the dark. Like mirrors, showers and open closets. Mirrors are the worst. When I go to the bathroom at night, I avoid looking in any mirrors in my path.

I don’t know where this fear comes from, but I’ve had it since childhood. As a child, before I went to bed I had to have my closet doors shut, under the bed checked (not by me) and the hall light on. In my bedroom now I’ve got a closet that doesn’t have a door, and it’s taken my a while to get used to it. And even worse, I can see the closet in the mirror in our bedroom, so it’s a double whammy.

So, what prompted this post? Well I recently saw an episode of CSI, where college students dressed in black hoodies and masks were attacking tourists. At one point, one of the victims looks into her make-up mirror right before she gets attacked. When I’m watching anything remotely scary on TV and someone’s looking in a mirror, I immediately look away, because that’s my worse nightmare, seeing something scary in the mirror. So I don’t know if they showed the attackers in the mirror — the idea of it was enough to freak me out.

So for the past ten days, I haven’t been able to go to the bathroom at night without turning on the bathroom light. The mirror and the dark is just too freaky a combination for me. I keep thinking of the CSI episode. And now that I’ve written this post it’ll probably take me even longer to get over it, as I’ve refreshed my memory.

And don’t get me started about what could be lurking behind that shower curtain in the middle of the night…

birth of a blog

Well, here I am, doing something I’d never thought I’d do.

When I first found out that Greg had a blog, I thought it was the weirdest thing. Why would anyone want to post what basically amounts to a personal journal on the web? It made me feel really uncomfortable at first, but over the years I’ve gotten used to it. Well, more than used to it.

I started reading Greg’s blog more, then I started reading friends’ blogs, then I started commenting on them, and before I knew it I was addicted to blog reading. Then I got pregnant and took the big step — a blog for Sprout. But it was to be private, and Sprout-related content only. So still a journal, but more a journal about him, not me.

But over the past year I have found myself quite frequently thinking “If I had a blog, I’d write a post about this…”

So, here I am. And here we are, a family with three blogs. Perhaps Yoshi and Aphro each need one as well.

I haven’t quite figured out the division of content between Sprout’s blog and this one — obviously stories about Sprout will be on Sprout’s blog, but I haven’t decided where I’ll put content about motherhood. Maybe I’ll just see how it evolves.