speaking of dogs

It’s Yoshi’s birthday today. He would have been 12. I’ve been thinking of him a lot the last couple of weeks — Greg makes me a calendar every year for Christmas with some of the pictures he’s taken over the year, and one of September’s pictures is of Yoshi sunbathing on our patio. The calendar is in our kitchen, so I see it every day. Hence the frequent thoughts. When I flipped the page to September and saw Yoshi, I couldn’t help but think that he was alive when Greg put the picture in there. That said, time does have an amazing ability to heal. I obviously miss him still, but the ache isn’t nearly as strong.

We have had the pleasure of dog-sitting two dogs over the summer — one for about 10 days and the other for three weeks. It was lovely having a canine presence in the house, and I know Greg and I will be able to heal a bit more once we get another dog. The problem is, I cannot imagine having a puppy right now. Not with a two-year-old and a four-year-old. I know it’s doable, but given the choice, I choose not to do it.

The other obvious option would be to adopt an adult dog again. This is more appealing to me than getting a puppy, and given the right dog I’d adopt him/her today. The problem is I am not quite ready to start looking.

And so we remain dogless, for now. I am half hoping fate will intervene and the right dog will land in our laps. And if that doesn’t happen, then I’ll start searching, when I’m ready.

conversation with my daughter

The following conversation took place between me and Amy, between 5:20 and 6:05 this morning.

Amy: MUUUM! DAAAD! MUUUM!

Me (scrambling out of bed): Coming!

Amy (crying): Eat! Eat! Eat!

Me: No sweetie, it’s too early. We’ll eat at breakfast time.

Amy (more crying): Eat! Eat! Eat!

Me (soothing voice, trying desperately to remain in a state of semi-consciousness so I can go back to sleep): Let’s have a pee, and then come back to bed.

Amy: Eat! Eat! Eat!

Me (carrying her to the bathroom): Here’s some water, that will help.

Amy: NOOOOO!

Me (now holding her on the toilet): We’re going to pee and then go back to bed. Do you want me to sing?

Amy (calming down a bit): Yes. Hush Baby. Dance. On.

Me: Ok.

Me (after getting her settled in her crib, realizing I’m way past the semi-consciousness I was hoping to stay in): Hush little baby…etc.

Amy (as I turn on her CD player and leave her room): Door. Open. Little bit.

10 minutes later…

Amy (after sneezing twice, in the sweetest voice imaginable): Kleenex, please. Kleenex, please.

Me (after rolling out of bed and getting her a piece of toilet paper because who the hell knows where a kleenex box is): Here you go.

Amy (examining it): Toilet paper?

Me: Yes, it’s toilet paper, but you can use it as kleenex.

Amy: Otay.

Me (leaving her room again): It’s time to sleep, sweetie.

5 minutes later…

Amy: NO KLEENEX! NO KLEENEX!

Silence.

Amy: NO KLEENEX! NO KLEENEX!

Me (walking back into her room): What’s up?

Amy (handing me the balled up piece of toilet paper): No. Want. Kleenex.

Me: Okay, let’s leave it right beside you in case you need it again. (Translation: Couldn’t you just put it down beside you??)

Amy: NOOOO!

Me (leaving room and putting kleenex on her bookshelf): Okay.

10 minutes later…it’s now 6:05

Amy (again, sweetly): Kleenex, please.

Me: Oh. My. God.

Amy: Kleenex, please.

Me (grabbing the kleenex from the bookshelf and giving it to her): Here you go.

Amy: EAT! EAT!

Me (sighing): Okay.

Amy (sweetly, and surprised): Eat? Now?

Me: Yes.

Amy (as I’m getting her out of the crib): Mama play. My room.

Me: No. We’re going downstairs to get breakfast. (Translation: Not on your life. We are not getting up this early because you want to play.)

disconnected

I just spent eight straight days “disconnected”. No phone, no email, no twitter, no Internet. Yes, Greg had his Android phone with him, but I didn’t touch it…mostly because I haven’t a clue how to use it. We were away, without an easy Internet connection available (which is somewhat obvious because I would have a tough time going longer than one day without checking my email if I knew I could), and I didn’t really start thinking about this until the last night there. Then I tried to figure out the last time I was disconnected for that long. It took me a while, but I realized it was the cruise Greg and I took in October, 2004. Six years of checking my email pretty much every day.

What it meant was I didn’t once tell my kids “I’m just going to finish at the computer” when they asked for something. But before you start thinking how great a parent I am, there was plenty of “I’m just going to finish this chapter”. But that somehow feels better. At least I’m modeling something important when I’m reading a book in front of them. 🙂 And on that tangent, I read two books, one very long one and the second during our last 24 hours there. It was awesome.

We’ve been back home for just over 24 hours and I’ve had plenty of time to “catch up”. I can’t say I missed much. It’s got me to thinking that I may (and I say MAY here), try to disconnect a little more.

i’m not sure i’ll have time for this!

I have now done two guest posts for Awesome Mommies (the second one is here), and they have asked me to come on as a regular blogger. I am feeling pretty good about this — I have always loved writing, and to have some positive feedback from people I don’t know means a lot.

They asked me to post once a week. Much as I would love to do that, I have enough trouble getting my “real” job done (that would apply to both my professional life and my personal life) in the hours allotted to me, so I will be posting every two weeks instead. It’ll be a bit of a challenge, both finding the time and thinking up topics, but I think I’m up for it. The thing about posting on a site that’s not my own is I take a bit more time with my posts and actually think more about my structure, audience, grammar etc. It’s good for my brain.

So stay tuned!