So further to my last post about Elliot not being himself…earlier this week Elliot was colouring with Greg and revealed that Jacob, his daycare buddy, had told him that he didn’t want to be Elliot’s friend any more. Greg commiserated with him, but didn’t delve into any details. We’re not clear on when this happened, but it might explain some of the angst he’s been going through.
I felt bad for him, but I remember being a kid and I know this crap happens — it happened to me, I probably did it to others, and it sucks. Although I have to admit that I was a bit surprised it came from a four-year-old, and a boy no less. I thought boys were nicer than girls.
Greg talked to Elliot a bit more about it during bedtime, and we left it at that. We were both glad that he was able to talk to us about it.
Then yesterday after spending the day with me, the kids and I headed up to daycare for their annual Canada Day BBQ. As we were leaving, we walked by one of the play areas where Jacob was playing on his own. Elliot yelled out a cheerful “Hi Jacob!”. Jacob said something that I couldn’t quite catch, and Elliot turned to me and said: “Did you hear that Mum? He said he isn’t my friend anymore.” As soon as Elliot repeated the words I realized it was what Jacob had said. And I wanted to drop-kick the kid. Instead I said to Elliot that that wasn’t very nice. Elliot barely skipped a beat before he saw someone else and said “But Nate’s my friend”, which made me feel a bit better.
But it has left me wondering what happened. Sure, kids can be like this, but I was surprised that it was lasting more than a day. And again I’m wondering how much to talk to Elliot about it. My gut says to not dwell on it, and so far I’m going with my gut. Certainly if he brings it up again we can talk about it, or if he seems sad I might mention it. The other thing is whether to talk to his teachers about it. I don’t want to be the kind of parent who fights her kids’ battles for them, but it’s not that I would want them to do anything. It’s more that it might shed some light on what happened between them if I talked to them. I’m curious if Elliot actually did something to Jacob, or if this is just coming out of the blue. And I have to admit to feeling very protective of Elliot right now, and I really hope he’s not hearing this from Jacob every day. Because that would really suck.
Just feeling a bit out of my league here…except I know the most important thing is that Elliot knows Greg and I love him. No matter what.