the play date

A few weeks ago, Elliot started talking about a couple of the girls in his class, and how he wanted them to come over for a visit. I told him that when I saw their parents, we could talk about having a play date. I wasn’t sure who these girls were, let alone who their parents were, so I wasn’t sure exactly how this conversation with the parents would take place. I was kind of hoping Elliot would just forget about it. His reason for wanting to invite one of the girls over was because she had the same toothbrush as him. I’m thinking that’s not the strongest base for a friendship, even for a three-year-old.

A picked him up a couple of weeks ago and he came running up to me with two girls in tow. One of them announced that her mother said it was okay if Elliot came to her house, the other one just smiled shyly at me (turns out the latter one was the one with the same toothbrush). I had a short conversation with the chatty one, but essentially I blew them off.

Then today we were driving home, and Elliot announces he wants to go to Sam’s house with his drum. I asked why, and he said Sam had a guitar and they were going to make a band. Obviously there had been a conversation about this with Sam…how I would have LOVED to hear it. Apparently the band’s not going to be on the road (?).

I’m guessing this is going to start happening more and more, and I have to admit I’m out of my element. While I want to encourage Elliot to make friends, how do I go about (and this is going to sound bad) figuring out if I actually want Elliot to have a play date with these kids? And if I can somehow surmise that I’m okay with it, how do I go about arranging it with the parents? I run into different parents every time I drop off Elliot.

I can just imagine myself writing a note to the child’s parent, asking for a play date, and the parent reading it, thinking “who is this desperate parent?”. And is this just all talk at this point? Does he really expect anything to happen, or are these just musings?

An obvious tactic is to become more involved at daycare, but seeing as I’m putting my kids in daycare so I can go to work, that’s a bit counter-productive. I will try to go to any events they have, but so far they’ve only had one. Another tactic would be to start having play dates with kids we DO know.

As an aside, Greg informed me that Elliot announced he’s going to Alena’s birthday party (Alena is the one with the toothbrush). We have yet to see an invitation, so I’m guessing he’s not invited.

And so it begins…I have enough trouble with my own social life. I am not looking forward to managing my son’s.

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