is this ever going to get easier?

I dropped Elliot off at daycare today and watched from outside the door for a few minutes, as he seemed even more hesitant than usual. He just stood there, looking around, with a very solemn look on his face. I wanted to wait until I saw him move towards something (or someone), but he didn’t move. I eventually had to go.

Now, if I think practically about this, I can remind myself that he’s almost always happy when I pick him up, there are no tears when I drop him off, he talks about daycare quite a bit, and none of what he says is negative. And I can also remind myself that this is his nature. I know it takes him a while to warm up, especially in group situations. Plus he hasn’t been there since Thursday.

So no, none of this is surprising, but on days like today, when maybe I’m feeling a bit vulnerable myself, I wonder what I’m doing to him as I turn around and leave when he’d rather just spend the day with me.

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